July 29, 2026
July 29, 2026
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Potty Training an Autistic Child: The One Thing That Finally Worked for Us
Potty Training an Autistic Child: The One Thing That Finally Worked for Us
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Potty Training an Autistic Child: The One Thing That Finally Worked for Us
"If you're reading this while washing another pair of underwear... I see you."
One of the biggest challenges we faced after Zaki's autism diagnosis wasn't speech therapy, sensory issues, or sleep.
It was potty training.
Honestly, I never imagined something that seemed so "normal" for other children would take us almost a year.
If you're feeling exhausted because your child still isn't using the toilet, I want you to know you're not alone.
Every autistic child learns differently, and sometimes they simply need more time, more repetition, and a routine they can trust.
Our Potty-Training Journey
Zaki was about 2½ years old, and this was during the COVID lockdowns.
Looking back, the lockdown actually gave us something we didn't realize we needed: time.
Lots of it.
At that stage, Zaki would both pee and poop in his shorts almost every single time.
There were accidents throughout the day.
Sometimes several in one afternoon.
Like many parents, we searched online for every tip we could find.
We bought different potty seats.
We tried rewards.
We celebrated small wins.
We watched potty-training videos made for children.
We read books.
We even spent what felt like endless hours sitting in the bathroom together.
Some days he would use the toilet.
Most days... he wouldn't.
There were moments when I wondered if we were making any progress at all.
The Routine That Became Our Daily Life
Instead of giving up, we created a simple routine.
Every hour, we gently brought Zaki to the toilet.
No pressure.
"Potty training: where every flush is a major victory and every accident is just a plot twist."
"It is not a sprint; it is a marathon with a lot of extra laundry."
No punishment.
No scolding after accidents.
Just a calm routine.
Sometimes he would sit for only a minute.
Sometimes much longer.
Most of the time, nothing happened.
Then we'd simply try again later.
And again.
And again.
For months.
If I'm being honest, it felt repetitive.
Sometimes frustrating.
Sometimes I question whether any of it was working.
But we kept going.
The Day Everything Changed
Then one ordinary day, something happened that I'll never forget.
I heard a little voice from the bathroom.
"Mama."
I walked over, and there was Zaki.
He had gone to the toilet by himself.
He was doing his business independently.
No reminders.
No prompts.
No struggle.
I don't think I've ever been so happy to celebrate a successful trip to the bathroom.
That moment reminded me that all those months of repetition weren't wasted.
He had been learning the whole time.
He just needed to be ready.
What I Learned
Autistic children often need many more repetitions than neurotypical children before a skill becomes part of their routine.
Sometimes it looks like nothing is happening.
But they're still learning.
They're observing.
They're processing.
They're building understanding at their own pace.
Progress doesn't always happen little by little.
Sometimes it happens all at once.
When We Shared Our Experience
A while later, we met family friends who were facing the exact same struggle.
Their son was already 7 years old and still wasn't potty trained.
They felt discouraged.
We simply shared what had worked for us.
Nothing fancy.
No expensive program.
Just consistency.
A predictable routine.
Lots of patience.
No pressure.
They decided to give it a try.
About three months later, they sent us wonderful news.
Their son had become successfully potty trained.
Of course, every child is different.
There's no guarantee that one approach will work for everyone.
But sometimes hearing another parent's real experience gives you the hope to keep going.
What Helped Us Most
These are the things that made the biggest difference for our family:
Keep a consistent toilet schedule, even if nothing happens at first.
Stay calm after accidents. They're part of the learning process.
Celebrate every small success, no matter how tiny.
Use visual support, books, or simple potty videos if your child enjoys them.
Watch your child's natural signals before they need to go.
Dress your child in clothing that's easy to pull down quickly.
Remember that learning may take weeks—or even months.
Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me
I wish someone had told me that potty training doesn't have a deadline.
I wish someone had said that taking longer doesn't mean your child won't learn.
I wish someone had reminded me that comparison steals hope.
Social media makes it look like every child is potty trained in a weekend.
For many autistic children, that's simply not reality.
And that's okay.
"Potty training an autistic child means celebrating a successful sit like winning an Olympic gold medal."
To the Parent Reading This
If you're cleaning another accident today...
If you've been trying for weeks—or months...
If you're wondering whether it will ever happen...
Please don't lose hope.
Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs happen after hundreds of ordinary, repetitive days.
I know because that's exactly what happened with us.
One day, without warning, I heard a little voice call out...
"Mama."
And that one moment made every hour we spent building that routine worth it.
Your child's timeline may be different from ours.
But every small step is still progress.
Keep showing up.
Keep encouraging.
Keep believing.
One day, your child may surprise you when you least expect it.
And when that day comes, you'll realize that all those little moments of patience were quietly building something wonderful all along.
A Gentle Reminder
Every autistic child is unique. Some children may have sensory sensitivities, medical concerns, constipation, communication differences, or developmental delays that make potty training more challenging. If you're concerned about your child's progress, don't hesitate to speak with your pediatrician or occupational therapist. There's no shame in asking for support.
You've got this—and you're definitely not alone.
"We are putting the 'pee' in perseverance."
A Note from Me
Thank you for taking the time to read our family's potty-training journey. Every autistic child is unique, and what worked for Zaki may not work the same way for every child. I'm simply sharing our personal experience in the hope that it encourages another parent who may be feeling overwhelmed or discouraged.
I'm an autism mom and a special education student, not a medical or therapy professional. The information shared in this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and should not replace advice from your child's pediatrician, occupational therapist, speech-language pathologist, or other qualified healthcare professionals.
If our story reminds you of one thing, I hope it's this: be patient with your child, celebrate every small step, and never underestimate the power of consistency. Progress may take longer than expected, but every child grows at their own pace.
With love,
Maylene
Founder, The Crafty Spectrum
If you're looking for gentle, sensory-friendly activities to explore together, our printable activity books are designed with children like Zaki in mind—simple, calming, and made to build connection, not pressure.
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